9 Ways to Spend Valentine’s Day If You Don’t Have a Valentine This Year


It’s that time of year again. The time of year when everything is the color pink and love is supposedly in the air. Gone are the days from grade school when everyone had to bring Valentines and candy for all the kids in class. These days it’s every (wo)man for themselves, and the pressure to have plans and a bae on the 14th is everywhere you look – television, advertisements, movies and especially social media. It’s easy to find yourself in a funk with all the constant reminders that you aren’t booed up, but not this year! This year you have 9 Ways to Spend Valentine’s Day If You Don’t Have a Valentine.

1. Treat Yo’ Self

Why not? You’re the sh*t, and as Momma Dee would say, “You Deserve”. Take the money you would have spent on hair, makeup and a little black dress and treat yourself to a day at the mall. Your favorite stores will be running Valentine’s Day sales too, so you’ll even save money on that cute blouse you’ve had your eye on in the process. A win-win. Thank us later.

2. Make It a Spa Day

Kick back and relax at the spa with a Swedish massage, facial, or mani and pedi. A few hours of pampering yourself can make all the difference in your mood for the rest of the day. Go solo for a little me-time or bring a friend along to take advantage of the Valentine’s Day couples deals and packages. #selfcare

3. Have a Bake Off

Lots of people find cooking to be relaxing. In fact, some rehabilitation centers use baking as a tool for coping and therapy, and it isn’t hard to see why. The smells, creativity, and sense of accomplishment you feel when your Pinterest cookies come out of the oven looking just like (close enough to?) the pictures online will have you feeling like Martha Stewart in the kitchen. If you really want to keep the feel-good vibes going, share your sugary confections with your neighbors or invite some friends over to stuff your faces together. Good times.

4. Movie Night with Strong Female Leads

Cozy up on the couch with a glass of wine and your favorite streaming service and pick out a few movies with strong black, female leads. Turn on Julie Dash’s Daughters of the Dust (it inspired Beyoncé to bless us with Lemonade, so who knows what you might walk away from it with!), or Queen of Katwe starring Madina Nalwanga and Lupita N’yongo.  It feels good to feel seen!

5. Karaoke Night

Call up some of your single friends and hit the karaoke bar! Have a Gal-entine’s Day celebration with your girls and give the people your best Whitney Houston vocals until the bartender flashes the lights for last call. Guaranteed to be a night filled with laughter and plenty of new memories made.  

6. Skype Date with your Long-Distance BFF

Sometimes your besties aren’t always a car ride away, and you can’t visit them every day/multiple times a day like you used to in college when everyone lived on the same floor in the dorms. As we get older, friends sometimes move away, and with our busy schedules it gets harder to make time to catch up and fill each other in on what’s new in our lives. So what better time to schedule a Skype Date? Give your bestie the latest on the office tea and the coworker you had to hit with your refined corporate clap back via email, and listen to your bestie’s new side hustle idea that she came up with while she was twisting her hair before bed the other night. Hours will pass by before you and know it, and it’ll be just like old times again. That’s what friends are for!

7. Throw a Slumber Party

Remember how fun sleepover were back in the day? Why shouldn’t we keep having them as full-grown adults? Pajamas, popcorn, pizza, storytelling – the whole nine! Turn on one of those movies starring a bad ass black heroine and go to town on those Pinterest cookies we talked about earlier that may or may not look the way they did on Instagram. At the end of the day, they’re all going to the same place anyway – in your belly, so bon appetit!

8. Play a Few Rounds of Tinder Roulette

This is a good one – everyone takes turns hooking their phones up to the TV and showing their Tinder profile to the room. This might sound scary and potentially embarrassing at first, but don’t worry, the game doesn’t involve going through your messages for all to see. *Collective sigh of relief* Take turns swiping left and right on whoever pops up on each of your profiles, and let the games begin! Tinder Court is now in session.


Last but not least, remember to love yourself. You are enough, and you don’t need a significant other or a date on an arbitrary day of the year to deem yourself valuable. Holidays are made up anyway, so whatever you do, be sure to have fun while you’re doing it.